What’s In That Breakfast Sandwich

Uncustomarily hungry as I walked to work, I was (I admit it), sucked into the local Kwik-E-Mart advertising their breakfast sandwich & coffee for $2.99.  At my desk, I scarfed the sandwich down pausing only long enough to examine the wrapper listing the ingredients of this sandwich. I’ve listed those ingredients below.

I’ve researched most of the ingredients.  My favorites are Diammonium Phosphate (DAP is used as a fertilizer and a fire retardant) and Dicalcium Phosphate (Tell you doctor if you are pregnant before using this medication).

It will probably be a long time before I get another one of these sandwiches. It just wasn’t very good. Or particularly good for me.

Item	Contents	Detail
English Muffin	Enriched Wheat Flour
		Bleached Wheat Flour
		Malted Barley Flaur
		Niacin
		Ferrous Sulfate
		Thiamine Mononitrate (Vitamin B1)
		Ribolfavin (Vitamin B2)
		Folic Acid
	Water
	Yeast
	Corn meal
	corn flour
	High Fructose Corn Syrup
	Wheat Gluten
	Salt
	Soybean Oil
	Preservatives
		Calcium
		Propianate
		Aluminum Sulfate
		Monocalcium Phosphate
	Dough Conditioners
		Sodium Stearoyl
		Lactylate
		Ascorbic acid
		L-Cysteine
		Calcium Sulfate
		Calcium Peroxide
		Dicalcium Phospate
		Diammonium Phosphate
	Parially hydrogenated cottonseed oil
	Corn Starch
	Citric Acid
	Soy Lecithin (a processing aid)
Sausage	Pork
	Water
	Salt
	Spices
	Dextrose
	Sugar
	Autolyzed Yeast
	Natural Flavor
		corn syrup solids
		lime juice solids
		Natural Flavor
	Flavoring
	TBHQ
	BHT
	Citric Acid
	Lactic Acid
Egg Patty	Whole Eggs
	Whey
	Skim Milk
	Soybean Oil
	Dicalcium Phosphate
	Salt
	Sodium Bicarbonate
	Xanthan Gum
	Artificial Butter Flavor
		partially hydrogenated soybean and cotton seed oil
		Medium chain triglycerides
		Flavors
	Citric Acid
	Liquid Pepper Extract
Cheddar Cheese	Milk
	Cheese culture
	salt
	enzymes
	annatto	(Vegetable color)
	Water
	Cream
	sodium phosphate
	salt
	sodium citrate
	sorbic acid (preservative)
	Apocarotenal(color)
	enzymes

Item	Contents	Detail
English Muffin	Enriched Wheat Flour
		Bleached Wheat Flour
		Malted Barley Flaur
		Niacin
		Ferrous Sulfate
		Thiamine Mononitrate (Vitamin B1)
		Ribolfavin (Vitamin B2)
		Folic Acid
	Water
	Yeast
	Corn meal
	corn flour
	High Fructose Corn Syrup
	Wheat Gluten
	Salt
	Soybean Oil
	Preservatives
		Calcium
		Propianate
		Aluminum Sulfate
		Monocalcium Phosphate
	Dough Conditioners
		Sodium Stearoyl
		Lactylate
		Ascorbic acid
		L-Cysteine
		Calcium Sulfate
		Calcium Peroxide
		Dicalcium Phospate
		Diammonium Phosphate
	Parially hydrogenated cottonseed oil
	Corn Starch
	Citric Acid
	Soy Lecithin (a processing aid)
Sausage	Pork
	Water
	Salt
	Spices
	Dextrose
	Sugar
	Autolyzed Yeast
	Natural Flavor
		corn syrup solids
		lime juice solids
		Natural Flavor
	Flavoring
	TBHQ
	BHT
	Citric Acid
	Lactic Acid
Egg Patty	Whole Eggs
	Whey
	Skim Milk
	Soybean Oil
	Dicalcium Phosphate
	Salt
	Sodium Bicarbonate
	Xanthan Gum
	Artificial Butter Flavor
		partially hydrogenated soybean and cotton seed oil
		Medium chain triglycerides
		Flavors
	Citric Acid
	Liquid Pepper Extract
Cheddar Cheese	Milk
	Cheese culture
	salt
	enzymes
	annatto	(Vegetable color)
	Water
	Cream
	sodium phosphate
	salt
	sodium citrate
	sorbic acid (preservative)
	Apocarotenal(color)
	enzymes

Suicide Is Not Painless for Chicago Metra and Old Navy

In what is most certainly surreal if not loaded with irony, the executive director of Metrarail threw himself in front of a Metra train not only killing himself but endangering passengers and disrupting rail services and schedules.  This remarkably self-centered and selfish executive, Phil Pagano, was being investigated for financial improprieties and was to appear before the Metra board today.  We suppose this answers the question of did he do it. Metrarail is networked throughout the Chicago metropolitan area. It is the Jack Kevorkian of commuter railroads.

While this train goon was being flattened by the  commuter train, just hours later the reality of domestic violence exposed itself at an Old Navy store in Chicago’s Loop. There a seriously out of control 20 something with easy access to a gun blew away his girlfriend and further exhibited his cowardice by deep sixing himself.

Not a happy day in the Windy City

Keebler Chips Deluxe Soft & Chewy Cookies Suck

I’ve learned that one of the best ways to manage a diet away from rampant cookie consumption is to have Keebler’s Chips Deluxe Soft & Chewy cookies in the house. Where we often fly through a variety of commercial cookie brands from Salerno butter cookies to Chips Ahoy, the Keebler Chips Deluxe pretty much brought everything to a standstill.  I mean these cookies really suck.

After perhaps four to six weeks in the house, I finally unloaded 2/3 of the bag of cookies into the garbage disposal. And, for that matter, I think I heard it belch as well. These cookies really suck. Did I mention that.

Now I’m sure there are people who think these cookies are the greatest. This proves, once again, that you cannot go broke underestimating the taste of the American public. What Keebler passes off as soft or chewy is merely mush without taste or texture. And the cookies have all the character of something out of an injection die machine. This is one manicured cookie. Clearly, somebody is buying them. At least once. But they really suck.

Self-Explanatory

Used under creative commons license. Source unknown.

Chicago’s Shit Street

OK, so Bourbon Street in New Orleans still may hold the crown to being the top shit street. The stench of old beer, piss, puke and well, I don’t want to go further but they win the title. As one who has made a contribution of sorts, I can only add that at least it was behavior conducted while driving our crazy economy.

Now this is entirely different than the stretch of sidewalk on Canal Street between Randolph and Lake in Chicago.  Across the street from 165 N. Canal St,  the Randolph Place Condominiums, the sidewalk is a linear dog toilet.  And I see no advantage to commerce because of it. My experience with dog owners is that they’ve become a pretty obsessive group regarding picking up their doggy poop. But for some reason, this behavior has escaped a handful on the if-you-think-about-it-now-curiously named Canal Street.

This particular stretch of sidewalk is the path between the gleaming towers, flax-rubbed redwood lobby and tight woven industrial carpeted workplaces of the commuters and the cozy, clubby carriages of Metrarail. Walking train-office commuters who already confront sidewalk cracks, icy bridges and late left-turners now add side-stepping shit to the obstacle mix. Based on the smeared scatological evidence, it is evident that stepping in the shit happens with apparent better regularity than the dog who left it.

And then there is the aftermath. Have you experienced shit on a shoe while attending a meeting with your colleagues?  Ruins the coffee aroma.  And shit on a shoe dragged onto the train guarantees a commute more unpleasant than that guy publicly sharing his sordid life while on his cell phone.

Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest. Not the shit, the shitty story. Clean up after your dog. Or, at least, I’m hoping it’s your dog.

What Do You Do When You Watch Birds?

I’m a bird watcher. Declaring this status elicits three kinds of comments. One is, “That’s cool.” Yet many think this activity is quaint, imaging sober septuagenarians cloaked in ancient fieldwear and sporting oversized binoculars. But, past the worn and inaccurate stereotypes, the frequent response is, What the heck do you do when you watch birds?

Actually, why people go birding is a broader question which, it may surprise, has many answers.  The birds, of course, may seem to be the main attraction. But for many, it’s about being out in the natural habitat, having a travel objective, socializing with others or something else for which birding is the focus but not always the main objective. Nevertheless, once out in the field, what, exactly, is birding. Birding is, quite simply, a treasure hunt. Most commonly a bird watching field trip is structured around two principle factors, season and habitat.

Birds follow an annual cycle which includes migration, mating and nesting. Although not all birds migrate, summer populations of birds are different from winter populations. So the first question a birder seeks to know is, “Who is here?” In summer (late winter, spring) birds begin to mate and nest. Some birders who keep track of this kind of thing make special note of birds who are observed mating on their F-list (you figure it out). Winter brings its own challenges with many birds departing for warmer climates yet also bringing into the area other birds who find the chilly weather quite suitable. A Christmas bird count that takes place between the middle of December and early January is commonly conducted almost everywhere to establish winter bird populations.

Habitat is the next variable that brings both challenges, opportunities and interest to birding. While bird watching is one of the fastest growing recreational activities, many bird watchers never get beyond their kitchen window, putting out feeders to attract and observer birds. But not all birds are drawn to the grain in your hanging feeder.

Some birds spend their entire lives at sea, feeding on marine life. Others like shallow ponds where they can scrape the bottom or shores where they can pick over what the waves and tide bring forth and leave behind. Some scavenge from the sky in the day or terrorize nightlife. And many skulk in forested land preying on the rich abundance of insects, invertebrae as well as each other (yes, birds eat birds)

Because bird watching is habitat driven, it provides a great excuse to travel to these habitats. But I still haven’t answered the question, what do we do when we bird watch.

So right now I’m in Seattle, Washington for a conference. I added a day to my business trip to watch birds. I prepared for this birding expedition by contacting local resources to see what birds might be around.  It’s winter and Seattle is on the Puget Sound with large bodies of cold water. So I was looking mostly for waterfowl that hang out in Puget Sound in the winter as well as the land birds that might be found in adjacent forest and grassland meadows.  I brought my 60 power birding scope with tripod to view the birds sitting out on the water and my eight power binoculars to catch the land birds I might happen upon. Then I gathered a birding companion and maps and set out on my adventure.

Stopping at public access points (never private land without permission), we set up our equipment and observed the abundant wildlife. Having a clue what might be in each place based on habitat and season helped us use field manuals to positively identify each bird species. In the process we also watched the birds fishing, initiating mating rituals and competing among themselves for scarce resources such as mates and food. And, of course, we were in the great Northwest. So if you did nothing else but stare at the snow-topped Cascade Mountains from Discovery Park or inhale the positively charged ions in the moisture rich forests of the appropriately named Scenic Beach State Park, you’d still have a good time.

Some birders like to record their experience in various ways. Usually this takes the form of keeping list of bird species seen.  These lists can be organized  by species, by year, by geographic area or any criteria the list maker desires. Some, like me, just enjoy the existential experience.  Just happy to be here.

So what do we do when we go birding? We use our brains to understand the other living forms with whom we share our planet. We socialize and extend mutual support to help each other enjoy our recreation. We get off the couch and work up a little sweat on outdoor trails. And we have one hell of a good time.

I left My Scope on the Steps of Maryland Restroom – Happy Ending

Was birding Assateague Island in Maryland at sunset on December 29. I left my scope standing in the parking lot (don’t ask). Didn’t check gear until the morning when I freaked out that my scope was gone. I was in Virginia, 60 miles away from that Maryland parking lot as well.

But the story is that the scope was found by a hunter, Vince Marciano, in Maryland. He knew the value and saw Lynn Davidson & Hal Wierenga arriving in the parking lot concluding their CBC. He gave them the scope. They took the scope to the tally dinner thinking it belonged to one of the other 75 participants. Nobody claimed it. They brought the scope to the Maryland DNR hdqtrs which happened to be across the street from the parking lot.

After flipping out, we pursued the loss in the morning through the Berlin police and then to the county cops. They contacted the MDNR hdqters. The DNR security cop who had been pursuing our loss came into this office and matched the scope with us. The dots were connected.

We have communicated with Hal and Lynn and expressed our significant appreciation. But it is a pleasure to be able to spread this story to others.

We have since found that our scope recovery heroes are local luminaries in their region. We have not found Vince Marciano, the hunter. I may be naïve. This story could have gone a different way. But knowing that the scope was in the hands of people who respect and enjoy nature, I’m not surprised they showed the same respect for a valuable tool that belonged to someone else.  My wife and I are very grateful.

If this story rings a bell with someone who knows Vince, I’d welcome that lead. It would be fun to close the circle completely.